He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
