mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
tell me about the eggs
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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