I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
