I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
