I skipped work to stalk him.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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