I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
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