Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
