Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
