508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My balls are so social today.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
