When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
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