I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
