Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
