My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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