I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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