Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
