The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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