Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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