I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize