I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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