We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
