seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
