You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
