at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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