you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
