if i can run in heels then i can drive
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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