Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
