lets start a swedish sibling band together
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
