YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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