I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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