This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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