I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
