Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
