I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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