but the lizard people decide everything anyway
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
