dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
