I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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