That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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