he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
