fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
