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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
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