I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Randomize