I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
this hospital has no fireball
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
