i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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