operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
