do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
