My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
