Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
