so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
