I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
