That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I supernannyed him into submission
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
