it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
