I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
That's how pantless uber rides happen
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize