I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
