I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
