She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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