As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
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Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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