my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
